Donor Conception: Do you know how you were conceived and who was involved?
Usually, we don’t often think about the way we were conceived. We were not the ones who had to bring ourselves into existence - our parents did that. In fact, a lot of us might actively not think about our conception.
However, for those of us conceived via in vitro fertilization, there may be more to think about. One thing is for sure, our conception was very intentional. But the other question that is starting to come to light is: who are my genetic parents and are they the same as my intentional parents?
This question is becoming answered by Ancestry.com and direct-to-consumer genetic testing, whether the person knew ahead of time to ask. As more people send in their DNA to these companies, they are getting matched to people who share their DNA that they may have never known about. In some cases, they are being matched with half-siblings or even a genetic parent.
Historically, when a family used a donor, they often did not disclose this to the donor conceived person. There may have been numerous reasons for nondisclosure but may often center around feelings of shame. Some individuals, never knowing they were conceived via a donor, are learning this information for the first time after taking these DNA tests.
Organizations such as We are Donor Conceived and Donor Sibling Registry have come into existence for people who have been conceived by a donor to connect with one another and possibly track down their half-siblings or donor. Additionally, parents are more likely to share with a child they were conceived via a donor and may even help with finding genetic relatives.
The paradigm has shifted. Fertility clinics are starting to recruit donors who welcome contact once the child is 18 years of age as opposed to maintaining anonymity. In the UK, there has been a law put into place in 2005 that eliminates the option of donor anonymity completely. This helps to connect and learn more about the health history of the donor and his or her family.
Fortunately, stigma of donating and conceiving via a donor is becoming less because of the awareness and communication of all those involved. Networks and families are doing a great job at bringing forth some of the personal and practical issues that may not have been realized until they become lived experiences.
If you are considering utilizing a donor, then one of the considerations that needs to be made is if, when, and how you might disclose this information to your child. There are groups that discuss tips, timing, and approaches for this conversation. There are fertility clinics that help facilitate donor communication as well as providing information on the donor’s personal/family history and carrier status.
What suggestions do you think would be helpful for those pursuing this route to complete their family? How might you suggest starting the conversation to a child conceived via a donor?
Resources:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/05/sperm-donation-anonymous/560588/
https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(18)31894-6/fulltext
https://www.statnews.com/2019/09/11/consumer-dna-tests-sperm
* This blog constitutes general information about genetic testing and medical screening. This blog does not offer or provide medical advice or diagnosis, and nothing in this blog should be construed as medical advice or diagnosis. Do not rely on the information in this blog/article to make medical management decisions. Please consult with a medical professional before making those decisions. Do not delay in seeking professional medical advice if you think you have a medical concern. Do not disregard professional medical advice based on any information received in this blog.
