Parenthood or Childfree?

In the 21st century, there is now a choice to be made: to be a parent or not to be a parent. In the past, religious, social, and marital obligations made the choice to be a parent more clear. There may have been stigma against the person otherwise. Birth control, industrial and tech societies, women's and men's rights have now cleared the way for a choice in the matter. There is still the expectation that people will become parents, but slowly this agenda is changing and with that, the question of why choose to have child may come up more often than it had it in the past.

Parents are often taken aback at the question of "why did you have your children?", but after some thought a reason formulates. It may be for religious and cultural reasons. They may have always wanted to have been a parent. On occasion, the child was born because of an accidental pregnancy, and interruption of that pregnancy was not an option. Some people choose to be parents because they want their genetics to live on after they die or a family name to continue down the line. Other people desire the unconditional love of a child and want to give it in return. People may want companionship from their children, someone to take care of them when they are old, or to feel young themselves for a longer time.

On the other hand, there is a cohort of individuals who are childfree for a myriad of reasons. In some cases, an individual or couple are childfree due to circumstance or infertility. The circumstance could be they do not have a partner, they do not feel financially able to take on the demands and responsibility of a child, they are in the middle of building their careers or business, etc. The circumstance may delay their fertility to a point in which they are no longer able to conceive spontaneously. A couple or individual may have attempted to go through in vitro fertilization or adoption, and neither option was successful. Eventually, the couple or individual decided it was best to remain childfree as opposed to continue to try those other methods.

Some people choose to be childfree not due to infertility or circumstance, rather they do not feel they want to bring a child into the world or to take on the responsibility of one. The idea to choose to be childfree is relatively new given the advances in our society and reproduction. Women's rights and equality have allowed for more options aside from stay at home motherhood as well as the availability of birth control.

There is a choice in whether to have children or not. There are many reasons someone may choose to remain childfree. Some people feel the population is too large and do not want to contribute to the consequences of a growing human population which can include limited resources and harm to the earth. They may worry about the future of the world and do not feel comfortable bringing their child into the uncertainty. Other people may not particularly enjoy children whereas others adore them but do not feel the need to bring their own genetically related children into the world. They may have even closer bonds to the children already in their lives because they do not have their own children. If a couple knows they are carriers of the same condition and have a 25% chance to have a child with that condition, then they may decide to remain childfree because they feel the the risk is too great to take. People may want to pursue careers, activism, close bonds with friends and family, etc. They may have never felt the desire to have children like some people have always known they wanted to be parents. The choice is often well thought out given the individual or couple are actively going against the current norm.

There have been negative views placed on those choosing to be childfree such as perceiving them to be selfish or missing out on life. However, social media and numerous individuals are speaking out on the subject and raising awareness. Hopefully, with normalizing a childfree option, those who make this choice or end up in this cohort, can live without having to explain themselves and hearing unwanted “advice” or negative comments from those around them. As this choice becomes more commonly pursued, it is more likely the question will change from "when will you have children" to "do you plan to have children and if so, why?”